Application To Live In Maine |
Name:________________________________ Nickname:_____________________________C.B.Handle___________________ Address (R.F.D. - HCR)______________________________________________ Daddy (If unknown, attach list of three suspect(s):_________________________ Mama:_____________________________________ Neck Shade: [ ] Light Red [ ] Medium Red [ ] Dark Red Number of Teeth Exposed in Full Grin: ______ Upper: ______ Lower: ______ Make of Pickup Owned:_______________________ Size of Tires:___________ Number of Empty Beer Cans on Floor of Pickup:_______________ Truck Equipped with: [ ] Gun Rack [ ] Mud Flaps [ ] Camper Top [ ] Air Horn [ ] 8-Track [ ] 4-Wheel Drive [ ] American Flag [ ] Rust [ ] Fuzz Buster [ ] Load of Wood [ ] Hijack Shocks [ ] Mud Tires [ ] Spittoon [ ] Running Boards [ ]C.B. Antennas [ ] Roll Bar Bumper Stickers: [ ] Wave if Your Horny [ ] I Dig Clams [ ] Almost Heaven, Bucksport [ ] I Snatch Kisses and Vise Versa [ ] Where the Hell is Orrington? [ ] Maine-iac [ ] Honk if You Love Jesus [ ] Redman Chewing Tobacco [ ] Wood is Wonderful [ ] I Ain't No Flatlander! [ ] Olde Fart [ ] Save the Black Fly [ ] All you ecological bastards can freeze to death in the dark! Favorite Beverage: [ ] Genesee [ ] Nastyganset [ ] Labatt [ ] Molson [ ] Moosehead [ ] Bangor Tap Water [ ] Budweiser Favorite Vocalist: [ ] Elvis [ ] Conway Twitty [ ] Loretta Lynn [ ] Slim Whittman [ ] Johnny Cash [ ] Willie Nelson [ ] Dick Curlis [ ] George Jones [ ] Bert & I Favorite Recreation: [ ] Square Dancin [ ] Coon Hunting [ ] Fishing with LIVE BAIT [ ] Drankin [ ] Drankin [ ] Drankin [ ] Blue Grass Fest [ ] Jackin [ ] Get'n Drunk Favorite Weapon: [ ] Tire Iron [ ] Pick Handle [ ] Log Chain [ ] .22 Number of Hounds: _________ Type: [ ] Blue Tick [ ] Beagle [ ] Black & Tan Cap Emblem: [ ] John Deere [ ] Stihl [ ] Foggy Mt. [ ] CAT [ ] Sugar Loaf [ ] Eat Me [ ] Skoal [ ] Budweiser Memberships: [ ] NRA [ ] VFW [ ] PTL Club [ ] Ducks Unlimited [ ] Fish & Game Club [ ] KKK [ ] Snow Warriors Length of Right Leg:__________________ Length of Left Leg:______________ How many cars do you have up on blocks in your front yard?_______________ How many kitchen appliances will you keep on your front porch?____________ (Working or Not) When was your last Elvis sighting?_______________________ Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags?____________________ Do you own any shoes (not counting boots), if so how man?________________ Are you married to any of the following?: [ ] Sister [ ] Cousin [ ] Cousin's Sister [ ] Sow Does your wife weigh more than your pickup?_________________ Can you sign your name and spell it right every time?________________ Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend?__________________ Can you count: [ ] Past 10 with your shoes on? [ ] Past 21 with your fly up? Have you EVER had more than one bath in a week?________ Month?_______ Medical Information: Do you have at least 2 of the following: [ ] B.O. [ ] Crabs [ ] Head Lice [ ] Bad Breath [ ] Scabies [ ] Yellow Teath [ ] Green Teath [ ] Runny Nose [ ] Tattoos [ ] Cross Eyed [ ] Stutter [ ] Fleas Your signature (One "X" will do):_________________________ Date:________ |
(Flatlanders Need Not Apply) |
